A Warriors Spirit
by Ohyesidid
Summary: TJ loves his dad and he loves Kanaan but as he sits and waits once again will things change. One-shot and some AU thrown in to spice it up.


I do not own Stargate Atlantis or the characters. This is a little something about TJ and John that I thought up, it's a little AU and in the future where TJ is older.

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Torren John or TJ as his dad John Sheppard would call him is sitting next to his father's bed again after he was nearly killed by a Wraith attack. Mom would always get this look in her eye when dad called me TJ and it always confused me. So one day I asked her what it meant and she just laughed and said it was just a look.

It wasn't but you don't tell my mom she is wrong. Like the time when dad told mom she left her fighting rods in the gym when she remembered leaving them in our quarters. He hit his arm and made him watch me by his-self the next time I throw and tantrum.

I stop laughing and hold back a sob as I look down at my dad in the infirmary bed again. He is covered in bandages and tubs and wires that are keeping him alive. I don't know what happened; they won't tell me just that it was bad.

I was walking down the corridor knowing dad's team was due back soon when they came rushing down past me. He was covered in blood and not breathing, I take a deep breathe looking over at the monitors to make sure he is still with me.

Next thing I know I am being held back by Ronon crying and yelling for my dad. Ronon tries to calm me down but I am too scared and he knows it and so does everyone else in the corridor as they make room for us.

Now three days later and he is still unconscious, "Son, why don't you go and get some sleep I promise to call if anything changes." I look up into the eyes of Carson and feel better knowing he is caring for my dad. "No I'm not leaving."

He gives a small sigh before checking dad and the monitors and leaving us alone again. This isn't the first time he has been hurt and it won't be the last but it still scares me every time. Dad is all I have and I don't know what I would do if he died.

I finger the dog tags hanging around my neck and wish mom were here with us, she would know what to do. But she isn't not anymore, I can still remember the day dad told me she wasn't coming back to us. I have a few faint memories of her and stories he still tells me but not much else.

I was five when she died, I was playing with one of my many babysitters when I saw dad come into the room with Uncle Ronon and I knew something wasn't right. Uncle Ronon was standing really close to dad and I didn't understand why at the time but I knew they never stood that close together.

Dad had his arm wrapped up and was holding his ribs and I didn't see mom anywhere. I remember giving dad a hug and seeing Uncle Ronon keep him steady when he kneeled on the ground in front of me.

"Hey kid I missed you." I knew enough to know he was hurt so I gave him a kiss on his check and arm before giving him another hug. "I misses you too daddy. Where mommy?" I ask as I looked around him, mom always gave me a hug when she came back but this time I didn't see her.

"Umm well TJ." I remember being confused when he stood up and took my hand and we went back to our quarters. He told me that she wasn't coming back, "Mommy isn't coming home, she umm crap, she got hurt and Carson couldn't make her better."

I cried and I screamed and I didn't let him go not once for a long while because I was scared he would leave too. Now here we are twelve years later and I really think this will be the time he doesn't wake up.

But he is breathing and his heart is beating, as long as he is alive I will be here with him. I almost fall asleep again when I hear movement and see Kanaan walk into the room and I rush into his arms as I begin to cry again.

I should not be crying so much but my dad could die and I can't help him. Kanaan is my biological father while John is my dad. I never saw him when I was little until after mom died and he came back to Atlantis to get me but dad wouldn't let me leave. I don't know the whole story they kept promising to tell me later but later just never came for us.

Somehow they became friends and Kanaan helped dad when he needed it and I went and saw him on New Athos. "It is alright Torren." He leads me back to my seat and calms me down and I am already feeling better. "I didn't know you were coming."

"I wasn't but Rodney called and told me what happened and I knew I needed to come and support you. John will be fine he loves you too much to die, he has a warrior's soul and will fight to live."

I know he is right but still, "What if he dies papa? What happens then?" He pulls me into a hug as the nurse checks dad's vitals.

"Where will I go?" He looks lost and sad before he speaks to me, I know he loves me but he was never the constant father I needed. "John and I talked about this before and you have three options he wanted you to be able to choose what happened to you."

I am about to ask what they are when to alarm sounds telling us that my dad's vitals have dropped and I am rushed out of the room. I pace as the others join us Ronon and Rodney my Uncles watch the door waiting for Carson or Jennifer to tell us anything.

Then there is Ashton Gentry the other member of my dad's team, he has been around for the last ten years. There were others but my mom slot was never filled long she was hard to replace until Aston came along.

Dad liked him and he fit well with everyone he is a Major but he always paid my mom's memory and spot she had on the team the respect it deserved. Dad once told me he wasn't trying to replace mom and he never could he was trying to find someone that fit almost as well.

Maybe that why he never dated because he couldn't ever replace her and I felt sad that he was alone, as we waited I remember Kanaan. "What are my options?"

"The first would be you could come and live with me on New Athos and visit everyone here on Atlantis. Second would be going to live with John's family on Earth, he has a brother Dave if you remember and he would take you. You wouldn't be on Atlantis and the visits would be rare and I wouldn't see you much."

We are quiet as I think it over as much as much as I love Kanaan I don't want to live on New Athos full time. Uncle Dave is nice but I only ever saw him on short visits to Earth, would he want me all the time?

"What's the third?"

"Ashton has agreed to accept legal custody over you and you would stay here in Atlantis you would just be with him instead of one of us." Aston is sitting across from me pretending to sleep I have seen the trick many times.

"You would do that?" He looks at me a nods, "Yeah I would Sheppard has been nothing but good to me but you also have to understand, if you choose to accept this option. If I get recalled to Earth or am sent back for any reason you would have to come with me, you wouldn't be able to stay here."

Finally, Carson comes out to tell us he is alright and I take up camp next to his bed. I wake up hours later to feel a hand in my hair and jump up when I notice it is dad's hand.

"Dad!" He smiles at me and I hug him as I tear up again. "Hey kid." I love how he calls me kid still and laugh at him. "I'm glad your awake I missed you." He lefts a hand to touch his dog tags that are hanging down from my neck.

"Missed you too." After everyone come and checks on him and the doc's look him over I do what I have been doing for years once he is awake from an injury. I pull his blankets up and check his pillow and sit back and wait.

I pull my chair forward and rest my head by his arm and smile when I feel him hand in my hair. He always told me to go back and sleep in my bed and that I didn't need to be here but I always refused to leave and he stopped suggesting it.

"Dad?"

At his quiet hum I smile, "I love you dad."

"I love you too Torren John Sheppard." I don't know which option I would have chosen I am just glad I didn't have too and that my dad is still here with me.

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What? What?


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